Tender hearts
by believeinjohnlock
Summary: Destiel au! Cas is in college
1. Chapter 1

"Good night hey Cas, we should do this more often".

"Yeah, I guess we should," Cas navigated himself over to the bar, mumbling apologies as his brushed past people. He didn't like to go out, preferred to stay inside studying; actually this was the first time he had gone out for months but he persuaded himself that he needed a break.

"Anything I can get you," asked a young girl with long blonde hair, tumbling down past her shoulders in curls. She was very beautiful.

"Five beers, on me," replied Cas counting the heads of those who had draped back from the party with himself and Balthazar.

"Coming right up."

The bar was dated but also very homely, a welcoming feel to it. He had heard about this bar at college, people saying he should come down here as Ellen gave the students great deals but he had never really had the chance. He looked around, inspecting it. There was a Snooker table in the corner and behind it a door leading into another room, he followed around to the right and saw a collection of old bottles dating back to the early 1900's along the wall.

"Here you go," the young girl came over with the beer and few mats.

"Thanks," replied Cas.

"So are you new then," asked the girl.

Cas looked up, surprised to see her still standing there, looking down at him. It took him a while to work out that the question was being directed at him. "Oh, um I suppose so, I started this term,". Cas scratched him nose, looking down awkwardly.

The girl raised her eyebrow at him and a quick smile flashed across her face, making her look even more beautiful as her features brightened up. "I'm Jo," she said raising her hand out to him.

"Castiel, but everyone calls me Cas," he replied shaking her hand.

"Hello Cas, good to see you. I'm surprised I haven't seen you in here before, most people from the college traipse in here at some point."

"I'm not one for going out, I let Balthazar persuade me."

He looked at his watch, 12.30 am. He better head back. He stood up to leave but as he did there were hushed whispers erupting all around him and everyone turning to look at something. He twisted his head round to see what everyone was looking at. There standing in the doorway was a man, about 6'1 with brown messy hair spiking up in all directions and the greenest eyes he had ever seen.

"Who's that," Cas asked the person next to him.

"That's Dean, Dean Winchester," Rachel replied. "Isn't he handsome," she said resting her head on her hands.

He wore a worn leather jacket and ripped jeans. Cas stared at him, mesmerised by his face and then Dean caught him staring. Cas quickly looked away blushing.

"He's walking over here," Rachel squealed.

"Hey," his voice was low and gruff. "Haven't seen you around before, what's your name." Cas glanced up and saw that he was looking at him. "C-Cas", he stuttered. He went to take a swig of his beer but knocked it over. "Shit," he mumbled under his breath, grabbing for a napkin to mop it up, his face turning a crimson colour.

"Let me buy you another one," Dean said.

"Oh no, really it's fine", Cas replied, "I was just off anyway."

"Aww so soon, but I've only just met you. Come on one beer." Dean looked at Cas, smiling wolfishly.

"No, no sorry I've got to go, nice seeing you."

"And you, hope to see you around". Cas gave a curt nod and weaved his way through the bodies, his hands sweating. He wiped them on his jeans, and once outside leaned against the wall taking deep breaths. He hadn't felt like this about someone for a very long time, maybe ever.

Cas took a deep breath and made his way back to his dorm on the campus, about a 5 minute walk from Ellen's bar. All he saw was Dean's face, his wolfish smile and sparkling green eyes. He walked up the stairs and unlocked his apartment door; luckily he applied early so he got a dorm to himself. He went to the bathroom and turned on the shower, adjusting the temperature then stripped of his clothes and submerged himself in the steaming water, it pouring off his face clearing his mind of Dean. Finding a pair of checkered pyjamas, Cas put them on and went to bed refusing to think of Dean.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Cas had decided to forget all about last night, swore to himself to never think about Dean again, his beautiful eyes, the way they crinkled when he smiled, the slight stubble he had, the way his hair always looked like he had just woken up, sticking up in all angles- wait no, not thinking about him. He stuck his nose into his book but gave up after he read the same line for the 10th time, choosing to go down to the campus Costa instead.

"Coffe, black." Cas saw a guy bearing a striking resemblance to Dean. He quickly turned around making his way to the door when he heard his name.

"Hey, Cas right? From the bar last night." It was Dean. Cas turned around reluctantly taking his hand off the door handle. "You keep running away from me."

"Err, hi Dean. I was just on my way to do some revision, forgot my wallet," Cas lied.

"I'll buy you a coffee."

"Oh no, really I can't let you-"

"I'm not letting you get away again, come on let me buy you a coffee, what do you want?"

"I'll have a caramel latte," replied Cas as he walked up to Dean. Dean ordered the coffee for Cas and then made his way to an empty table, Cas following.

"Didn't get to talk to you yesterday, running off like that."

"I wasn't feeling too good, but I'm better today. Probably had too much to drink."

"So, how come I haven't seen you around before," asked Dean.

"Well I don't really go out much, I prefer to stay in and study but I let Balthazar persuade me." Dean looked at Cas making him feel uncomfortable, never blinking. Cas looked away blushing a dark crimson colour looking anywhere but at Dean.

"So, what are you studying," asked Dean.

"I'm doing a degree in English and History, I want to be a lawyer."

"Same as my little brother, Sammy. He's going to go to Stanford, I just know it. He's a smart kid Sammy, smarter than me anyway but that's not hard to beat." Dean beamed at the mention of his brother, glowing with happiness and respect for him. God, he was so attractive, thought Cas- wait no, not thinking about him like that. Suddenly Cas panicked, he swore that he was going to stop thinking about Dean Winchester and here he was talking to him.

"I've got to go, err revision and lectures and stuff…" babbled Cas. He got up hitting his leg on the table as he got up frantically. "Shit, shit, fuck it." He looked down to inspect his leg and noticed that it was bleeding and that he had ripped his jeans. "Fuck it, these were new," groaned Cas.

"God, you're a clumsy one," laughed Dean. "Let me take you back to my dorm to clean that up."

"It's only a graze, really I'm fine."

"Stop being so stubborn and let me clean it up for you." Dean stood there staring at Cas until he accepted his offer.

His dorm was only a brief walk- hobble- away from the café, situated on the South of the Campus; unfortunately it was on the top floor. Dean looped his arm around Cas' waste and Cas took a sharp intake of breath as he felt a tingle go up his side.

"You alright," asked Dean. "I didn't hurt you did I."

"Wha- n-no, no I'm fine," stuttered Cas in reply. Jesus Christ get a hold of yourself, he thought. Dean opened his door and inside was an organised chaos of records, books and clothes scattered everywhere. On the wall were posters of bands and films, from Led Zeppelin to Star Trek.

"Do you like it," asked Dean. "Tried to make it my own as much as I could with these bare rooms."

"Yeah I love it," replied Cas honestly. He didn't know why he did; it was just something about it, it had a welcoming feel to it.

"Sit down there, I'll go get some stuff to clear that leg of yours up, don't break anything," Dean said jokingly whilst guiding Cas to a chair.

"There you go, all patched up".

"Thanks," replied Cas. He looked down at Dean who was still kneeling on the floor, mesmerised by his eyes and suddenly, not thinking, leaned into kiss him. Dean's lips were hot and tasted of beer and toothpaste. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean pulling him closer, his hands tangling in his hair, lips shaping to Dean's then suddenly Dean shoved him off.

"What do you think you're doing you freak?"

"Oh god, sorry, I'm s-so sorry, I don't know what, oh god-". Cas stumbled over his words grabbing his bag, quickly getting up, tripping over his feet and knocking a glass over.

"Get out, I don't want to see you again," screamed Dean. "You clumsy faggot."

Cas bolted for the door, holding back his tears, nausea creeping up on him. He bolted for the nearest bathroom and threw up, over and over again until nothing would come out, tears streaming down his face. What did he do, he was so stupid. Of course Dean didn't like him, he was just being friendly, god I'm such an idiot, Cas thought to himself. He went to the sink and splashed some cold water on his face, erasing any signs that he had been crying, rinsing his mouth with cold water from the tap, he had a lecture to go to.


	3. Chapter 3

He smashed his fist against the table sending glass shattering everywhere. Dammit I'm such an idiot, Dean thought to himself. He inspected his fist and saw that it was bleeding; he made his way to the bathroom rinsing it under the sink and watching as the blood travelled down the plughole. He needed to apologise to him, he knew why he called him a faggot. It was because he was scared; the kiss was like nothing he had ever experienced before, he enjoyed it, the feel of Cas' lips on his, like a fire he didn't know was there had been lit leaving him full of lust and wanting more. He had to apologise, somehow.

"Ugh", Cas grimaced as he drank his now cold coffee.

"Nice coffee", Anna laughed.

"Cold", Cas went back to reading 'Hamlet' which he was studying in class.

"Cas, what's up, you know me I can tell when something's bothering you. C'mon you can tell me, _I am_ your best mate after all", Anna turned to Cas a serious look on her face. Dammit how did she know, she always knows.

He sighed, "Well, you know when you like someone and well you think they like you back but they don't, and then…."

"Then what"?

"They lead you on and invite you to their dorm, what else was I supposed to think"?

"What happened Cas"?

"I kissed them and it's not what they wanted".

Anna laughed and looked relieved, "Cas I'm sure she wasn't offended, it's only a kiss and well hey you're not that bad, I would know".

"Oh god, don't remind me, I can't believe we dated it seems so- _wrong _now. You're like a sister to me".

"Don't change the subject, there was more wasn't there Cas, you wouldn't get worked up this much over something like a kiss. What aren't you telling me"?

Could he tell her, he hadn't told anyone that he was into guys. Only his family knew and that was because they walked in on him and Balthazar, they had both decided to leave town and had both been accepted at the same University. His romantic feelings towards Balthazar went as quickly as they came. He has to tell her now, he'd told her this much.

"It wasn't a she".

"Sorry", Anna's expression turned into one of confusion.

"They were a guy, I like guys". Cas looked down, suddenly very interested in what he was reading. He glimpsed up quickly to see Anna staring at him, a look of disgust on her face. He thought she was above all this, wouldn't mind who he liked but now he had lost his best friend. She was probably going to tell everyone and his life here would be ruined and he would have to move again just after he had started to fit in.

"What? Is there something wrong with me liking guys, I didn't think it would bother you," Cas said his voice soaked in disdain.

"Cas, I don't care that you like guys, I care that you never thought to tell me. Never trusted me, I thought we told each other everything,." "So who is it"?

"What"?

"Who's the guy"?

"I just told you that and you want to know who the guy is". Cas laughed.

"Just tell me I have to know now".

"His name's Dean".

"The Dean? Incredibly handsome, on the football team, dated probably every girl here Dean Winchester. You don't want to get involved with him Cas, he's nothing but trouble".

"Don't worry I won't be after he called me a faggot and said he never wanted to see me again". Cas' voice broke.

"Oh Cas. He's obviously not good enough for you, who would want to turn you down?"

"I can't ever see him again, or ever talk to him again".

"I could argue that".

"What?" Anna nodded to a figure walking over to them, his unmistakable bow legs.

"You have to get me out of here, I can't talk to him".

"Hey", Dean looked down at Cas then awkwardly looked away looking embarrassed, an expression Cas never expected to see on his face.

"I'll be off then", Anna winked at Cas and he returned it with the most evil glance he could possibly conjure.

"Look, umm about the other day".

"Just stop ok? Don't make it worse than it already is. You made it clear enough that you don't like me." "God, you made it very clear", Cas mumbled under his breath turning back to his book.

"Please, just hear me out. I don't know why I… called you what I did".

"Really, because neither do I. Wait, maybe it's because you're an a class dick, so please leave me alone".

"For fucks sake I'm trying to apologise here and you're not making it any easier".

"Why should I? You called me a faggot for fucks sake. Do you know how much that hurt me? I opened myself up to you and you did that to me".

"The reason I called you a- _faggot", _Dean mumbled the word almost ashamed to say it_, _"Is because I was scared ok?"

"Scared, ok explain".

"I liked the kiss , I like you ok? "


	4. Chapter 4

Cas stared at Dean, mouth hanging open in surprise, 'But- but what you said to-'

'It was a load of bullshit Cas'. Dean cut him off midsentence. 'God dammit I think I really like you. I'm scared y'know? I can't like dudes I have a reputation'.

A smile came across Cas' face as he desperately tried to hide it, he was angry with him, but he had never been one to hold a grudge. 'You like dudes,' Cas smirked. 'You make me feel so special'.

'You know what I mean', Dean said as he met Cas' eye and grinned with him.

'Look I've got a lesson to go to, but meet after. My room, 5ish'.

'Yeah ,sure.' Dean walked off, his bow legs the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, his hands pushed low into the pockets of his ripped, faded jeans. Cas grabbed his coffee and took a swig, grimacing. It was cold, he dumped it in the bin as he walked out, the conversation replaying in his head. Dean Winchester, the Dean liked him.

It was dark and cold in his dorm, the heating off and blinds closed as he hadn't had the chance to open them that morning in his rush to leave. He took out his books, skimming them over and over but nothing would go in. He headed over to the kitchen to make himself a coffee. He took out the jar but they were out. He glanced at his clock, 4.15, 45 minutes until he could see Dean again. His scent, sweet but rough, the way his eyes creased when he smiled and god dammit that perky little arse of his was the best one he'd ever seen, you can bounce a nickel off that thing. 4.17. 'Fuck it, I'm going out,' Cas mumbled under his breath. Grabbing his coat, a trench coat, beige and weather worn as he took it wherever he went, no matter if it's cold or warm, he left his dorm no destination in mind.

Cas wandered the streets for a little while- but what felt like an eternity to him-until 4.45 when he decided to make his way to Dean's dorm. He vaguely remembered the journey Dean took him, making a few wrong turns but eventually he got there, just on time. He went to knock on the door when he heard voices coming inside, one was definitely Dean's, the other he didn't recognise but it was a girl's.

'I've had it with you Dean, one minute you want to be with me, the next you don't. Make your mind up you big headed dick. You expect everyone to hang around for you, the famous 'Dean Winchester', well guess what not me'. Her voice was laced with spite and she was yelling at Dean. Cas backed away, deciding to come back later but it was too late.

'So this is the guy your blowing me off for? ' The girl had sotemed out of Dean's dorm and seen Cas hanging around.' Who would have guessed, Dean Winchester is gay'.

'Lis' wait, please. Just hear me out'.

'No, you listen Dean. I have put up with your shit for long enough, I know you've cheated but I always gave you another chance because I know that you're a good guy deep down. Well, maybe I was wrong'. She stormed out, not even giving Cas a second glance.

'Fuck it, fuck it what have I done,' Dean whispered to himself.

'Look maybe I should come back later'. Dean didn't reply. 'Dean,' Cas repeated a bit louder this time.

'Hmm', Dean looked up as if he hadn't noticed him earlier. 'Yeah, yeah come back later. Err sorry Cas, just I didn't know I was well- you know, until today and now everyone might know'.

'It's ok, I'll leave'. Cas made to leave when Dean spoke again.

'I truly am sorry, Cas', Dean looked into Cas's eyes and held his glance, Cas's heart pounding in his chest. All he wanted to do was pull him closer and kiss him, kiss his worries away. All he wanted to do was hold him close but instead he left, his heart sinking and his night not turning out as he had expected at all.


	5. Chapter 5

Jeremy Kyle was playing on the tv, 'My boyfriend cheated on me with another girl', and guess what. 'Now I'm pregnant with his child'. Cas was slouched on the sofa, gazing at the tv emotionless with a 6 pack by his side.

After the incident with Dean he came straight back to his dorm and to the fridge where he looked for any alcohol he could find.

'At least you actually got laid', Cas slurred at the tv, throwing an empty beer can at the flashing screen which lit up his pale, sunken face.

He got up making his way to his bed as he did nothing better to do when there is knocking on the door. At first Cas thought he was imagining it and then there it was again, louder, more desperate this time. 'Go away', he slurred back.

'Cas, it's me Dean'.

Cas' heart started racing, his palms becoming sweaty, mouth dry but there was also the feeling of anger there, he wanted strangle the bastard, coming here after what he said, 'Then definitely go away'.

'Cas I _need _to see you, it's pretty bad'.

Cas opened the door and was shocked at what he saw. Dean had blood tricking down his forehead, a black eye and a spilt lip.

'Fucking hell what happened to you?' Cas stuttered as he guided Dean to the sofa.

'I love it when you stutter like that, it's so cute'.

'Dean, don't avoid the question. Who the hell did this to you?'

'They overheard us talking outside my dorm after Lisa left'.

'Shit, this is all my fault'.

'No Cas it isn't, I should of known. It's just like Zac, he tried to get one up on me all the time and he had a good angle this time'.

'I'm going to kill him,' Cas muttered under his breath reaching for his coat.

'No Cas you can't, he doesn't know who I was talking to and he never will, anyway you'd be no good in a fight, look at you…not that I'm saying that's a bad thing I like you just how you are', Dean winked at Cas. Cas got some ice and held it against Dean's eye. Dean reached up to take it and an electric shock went through Cas when they touched, he looked into Dean's deep, green eyes and then quickly looked away. 'Wait', whispered Dean barely audible taking hold of Cas' arm and pulling him into a kiss. The breath was knocked out of Cas as Dean pressed his lips against his. He pulled Dean closer never wanting it to end, the feel of his smooth lips against his chapped lips, the warmth of his body and his stubbled chin brushing against his face.

'That was sudden', gasped Cas as he tried to gain his composure failing.

'Sorry I just had to'. Dean brushed away a loose stand of hair that was falling into Cas' eyes. 'You really need a haircut you know'.

'Sorry buzz cut not my style'.

'Firstly Cas, I do not have a buzz cut and secondly you know I'm right'.

'Well I thought you liked me just how I was'.

'Dammit Cas, you really know how to twist someone's words'. Dean leaned into Cas, he could feel his breath tickle his face. 'But I'm afraid I've got to go'.

'Wait, why?' Damn it, he sounded clingy.

'Big day tomorrow, football match and all'.

'Good luck', Cas said beaming up at Dean.

'Don't worry, I won't need it, I've got you', Dean smiled back wolfishly.

'Cocky much, don't let it get to your head'.

Dean leaned in to kiss Cas good bye and then he was gone. Dammit he was gorgeous, Cas thought as Dean left the room admiring his perfectly formed arse.


End file.
